Christmas?

Every year, we sing songs about a white Christmas. In Seattle, we even think, “What a nice idea” as we sing it.

This year has the makings to be the worst Christmas ever. We’ve been essentially snowed in for a week. Have you any idea how claustrophobic a home can feel when stranded there with three exuberant children? We have chains for the car, but it’s still not safe to leave.

We missed our church’s birthday party for Jesus (although it’s been rescheduled to next week, it’ll be odd to sing carols the weekend AFTER Christmas). We missed Bake Day and the wonderful family time that goes with it. It looks like we’re going to miss Christmas Eve with family. I can’t remember the last time we’ve missed that. We might miss the candlelight service. We have gifts for the kids stuck on UPS trucks. Our moms might not make it to our home for Christmas day.

I’m trying not to let it get to me. I’m trying to enjoy the beauty of the snow, particularly the 12+ inches still undisturbed on our outdoor furniture out back, because this much is truly rare here. I believe God’s reminding us to be prepared for emergencies (we aren’t). And we’ve taken the opportunity to make cookies here at home, which the kids shared with our neighbors today. (Our budding entrepreneur Middle Child tried to bill me $6 in delivery fees.)

Friday it’s supposed to rain. I’ve vowed to never complain about the rain again. You’re welcome to remind me how sore I am after walking to work yesterday and shoveling snow the day before.

Meanwhile, we’re home, using our last opportunities of the year to threaten that Santa won’t bring gifts if the floor’s a mess, and trying to keep in mind what this holiday is really about.

I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas, and a happy New Year.

Drama

The drama continues... after several good days (really good days, actually), there's been another bump in the road. I told Oldest he couldn't go out and play with his friends. At first he was ok but once he realized he couldn't go because he'd been accused of cheating on a test today, the anger set in. His anger scares me. He throws things, breaks things, and says some awful things.

Middle child asked why oldest is so mad all the time.

What are the teen years going to be like?

Here's an IM exchange from this afternoon:

Oldest: I wish I was dead!!!

x-(

3:34 PM me: I'm sorry you feel angry, Christian.

3:35 PM Oldest: ya right

3:36 PM bla bla bla

me: There is no excuse for being rude to others.

3:37 PM Oldest: O bo ho

3:38 PM me: If you're going to use the internet to be as rude as you are in person when you're angry, you will lose internet access.

You need do to your homework.

3:39 PM Oldest: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ns0ONgDwNqs

At least he hasn't threatened to run away today. And he seems to be youtube surfing with his siblings (more appropriate content than the last one he sent me).

It's just so hard to understand how he can be sweet, happy, helpful kid one moment and angry, rude kid the next.

A new day!

Praise the Lord! Oldest was an entirely different kid today. He still had some moments of frustration (he wasn't happy to not get a book from the bookfair, and he was frustrated that I insisted he start his WA map project over), but he recovered quickly.

I'm so proud of him. While I ran to the office supply store for 11 x 17 paper, white-out, and crayons, he cut out the 31 landmarks he was supposed to place, figured out where they went on the map, and reviewed it with dh. When I got home, he re-traced our state, and got all of the landmarks glued in. What amazed me the most is that he insisted on coloring it in very carefully. He even made sure his hand-written legend was neat(-er than usual). He spent over 2 full hours at our coffee table working on this.

I don't know if it was solely active-parental involvement, but I don't think so. We've been very involved in his other homework before and encountered only resistence. I think he just really wanted to do this project well, and I'm SO grateful that he stuck with it, listened to parental advice, and finished it. He was really pleased with it and proud of himself too. I'm happy his teachers will finally see he's really capable of doing good work.

Our desperate prayers have been answered with at least a glimmer of hope that we'll get through all of this chaos.

Back to square one

Last year was a breeze.

This year? Not so much.

Report cards came home today. For reading, of 10 assignments he turned in one. One. And that one assignment was late. Also for reading, he was supposed to turn in 6 book cards. He had turned in one by conference time when they were due. He was allowed to turn in the rest late for reduced credit, but his report card says what he turned in was incomplete. His writing is still illegible. Needless to say, he got 1s in reading and writing. He got 3s in everything else (4s in science and PE). He got mostly Occasionally for all of the Effort items, and Rarely in Independent Work Skills.

Honestly, it was entirely expected.

But then there came the UNexpected. A call from the school that Oldest was caught trying to shoplift a book from the bookfair. When confronted, he lied about it. Off to problem solving he goes.

When I tried to talk with him about it this afternoon, he went into one of his self-deprecating, black moods. He insisted that we just take everything away and that he was just going to go run away. He tried to blame everything on his siblings. I had to physically stop him from leaving. His poor Middle Child was terrified and crying. I finally got him to go upstairs, and after 30-40 minutes he cooled down some. Eventually he came down and did his homework and helped with chores.

It’s terrifying, though. I don’t know how we’re going to get through the next ten years.

Old habits die hard

Ok, I suck. I started this blog a YEAR ago and haven't posted. Actually, there's a reason for that. It was a much better year. Not so much darkness. My ADDr had a great school year, with no medication. His spelling and writing is still atrocious and I cringe and shudder when I think of him out in the workforce (but then remind myself the school system has another 9 years with him). I don't think he had a single tantrum all year (and by tantrum I mean the horrible occasion where I'm forced to hold him down for up to an hour for fear he'll hurt himself... the scariest thing I've ever gone through, and we've been through many. How's this kid going to cope as he gets old, I'd worry. I'm still worried but encouraged that we got through a year without.)

I still worry about him daily. I still worry about Middle Child, who had a fantastic year in Kindergarten and is much more studious than ADDr is but absolutely cannot control his body parts in so many situations. I don't know what we're going to do with Darling Daughter either. She is 3 and a half and writes her name (and Mommy and the beginnings of most of our family members), draws pictures that make sense, has a wonderful imagination. She's going to be SO BORED when she starts school

Last year, I was worried about being newly self employed. God has provided. I now have two employees and a personal coach. I'm scared because I'm responsible for so much of our necessary income. Things are going well, though.

I'm still hoping to do more blogging here. Somewhere I don't have my closest friends and family reading and judging. Please bear with me.